Ben "Bencb" Rolle – Do you have any red flags that you can share that appear in someone's behavior if they want to get to know you? Whether it's women, men, or people wanting to do business with you or...
Johan "Yoh Viral" Guilbert – I can give you a red flag for Dubai women, or at least, some Dubai women. However, these red flags are not exclusive to Dubai; they can apply to women from any nationality who come there looking for millionaires. Let's say, gold diggers. Not everyone is like this; again, in Dubai, there are many nice girls and cool people. Many girls also work in Emirates hotels and real estate, so there is plenty of industry.
However, one of the red flags that I noticed, which I also encountered in Malta, is that they will keep saying things like, "I want a man that can win me over." They literally formulate how they want to be won over by making me give gifts or flowers. Flowers are fine, but they often use flowers as an excuse for much bigger gifts. It's not just about buying flowers; they will explicitly mention, "I want a man to win me over." This statement is a pure red flag and it repeats among many girls. I have spotted this many times, and every time I encountered it, it was with a girl who was a high-end escort. She wasn't saying she was an escort, but she was walking the same way.
This is one of the things I have spotted in conversations. You can meet those girls in normal clubs and everything; you would never think she is an escort. You would think she’s a model or something. Many girls will tell you they're models; some of them really are models, but how many of them actually make a living out of it? So when someone says they're a model, pay attention; it could be a way of hiding the fact that they are making real money by exchanging sex for money.
That's what they may really be doing. A red flag about girls trying to deceive you means you're going to lose your time because you don't want a girl who is selling herself for direct money. You're going to waste your time and energy; maybe you're going to fall in love. Some guys that are weaker, who are less experienced might fall for that and do exactly what she wants him to do.
Understanding which person I should spend my time with and which girl I should give my attention to is crucial. If a guy suddenly wants to do everything with you from one day to the next, he likely has an agenda behind it. He may not always have bad intentions, but he could be someone who wants something from you in terms of help or other benefits. You can always give him help, but always try to understand people's actions. When someone does something, ask yourself why they did it.
It's similar to betting: if someone bets, ask yourself why they made that bet and why that amount. What do they want you to do with that? If you ask yourself the same questions regarding people's actions, always come – or you'll often come closer to the truth.
Bencb – I think it reminds me of a situation where someone reached out to me. I like to help people who are less successful than me; I also like to learn and work with people who are more successful than me. However, I think the only way it can work out is if there’s honesty involved.
I had a guy reach out to me who had just a few hundred followers on Instagram. He had a couple of posts that went successful—like a couple of thousand views—and then he reached out saying, "Oh Ben, let's collaborate! Let’s do something; I can help you grow your Instagram. I'm so experienced in social media. Give me access to your course; I'm going to do it, I'm going to win the money," and all these kinds of promises.
I appreciate the passion, but obviously, he was delusional. I can spend my time creating a reel that gets 50,000 views or 100,000 views or whatever on average. It’s not meant to be arrogant; I genuinely want to help people understand – if this guy had reached out and said, "Hey Ben, I need your help. I understand that you might be busy and have a lot more success," that would have been different. By trying to put himself on the same level as someone more successful and trying to get the same from that person as he is trying to give creates a sense of dishonesty and a lack of integrity.
If I reach out to someone for an interview for a podcast, I reach out to big names by saying, "Listen, I know you have millions of followers and I might not be relevant to you. However, I think you can contribute a lot of value." I recognize their success and respect it. I know that in their eyes, I might be insignificant, and that's totally fine. They have families, friends, and business partners; why would I be important to them as a random poker guy? I don’t take it personally if I'm rejected 19 out of 20 times when I reach out to people with whom I want to work.
I often reach out to individuals who are more successful than me and sometimes those who are less successful. It’s all good; we’re just on different journeys. It doesn’t mean someone is worth less; it’s just that we are on different paths. This is a huge red flag for me: if someone tries to sell their success as something major, they are either delusional—something I don’t want to deal with—or dishonest.
Imagine if I'm like a small stream reaching out to you for collaboration or partnership. If I put myself on the same level as you—someone who has been working for 12 or 15 years—you might feel like, "Dude, I'm so much ahead of you. I have so much more experience; you can learn so much from me." You might wonder why you should help me at all.
I prefer working with people who are genuine and honest. It’s not about their following; it's about how they present themselves. Just be honest! If someone reaches out saying, "Ben, I know I'm not as big; is there something we can do?" that’s a much better approach. Very often, I'll say something like, "Listen, take the course and check it out for seven days. If you think you can do something with it..."
Many very successful people find true happiness and joy in helping those at the beginning of their journey. However, if there’s even the slightest feeling that someone isn’t serious or is trying to deceive me, they don’t stand a chance. When you receive DMs, you probably scan them in five seconds looking for red flags. If you're not feeling it—GG – next.
Yoh Viral – You need to give value. For those wanting to approach successful people: my advice is that you need to give a lot before expecting anything in return. Giving value is crucial. For example, someone like Tai Lopez would advise working for free at the beginning—trying to assist someone without expecting payment right away. Max used to be an unpaid assistant (if I remember correctly), who was the boss of RSD at that point.
Bencb – We all worked for free at the beginning of our poker careers.
Yoh Viral – When I started making my first poker videos back in the day, I did them for free with no intention of selling any courses—literally no intention at all. I created content because I wanted to share my journey, and then people began requesting more from me. By doing things genuinely, you will have way more success and better results by being honest rather than trying to deceive others. So, do things for free; give a lot of value to other people, especially to those you want to be around in the coming months.
Bencb – What I realized—and I had to pay a lot of money for this lesson—is that those who emphasize trust the most often turn out to be the biggest threats. This might sound contradictory because we’re discussing trust, but when people reach out to me saying, "Ben, trust is so important to me; honesty and genuineness are vital," I become cautious.
If I make you a business proposal, I don’t need to tell you how trustworthy I am. I want my actions to demonstrate that you can trust me. If I want something from you or if I'm making a business proposal, I will do everything in my power to prove it through my actions. I don’t need to go ahead and say, "Oh, but you can trust me; I will use your money wisely," or "You can stake me."
It's a low sample size, it's my own experience. If I look back, there’s always a pattern: those who feel the need to push how honest and trustworthy they are often raise red flags. It’s not about the money either; they might say, "Hey, I don’t care about the money," in a business setting where making money is the goal. There’s nothing wrong with trying to make money, but when someone emphasizes that point too much, it throws me off immediately.
Yoh Viral and Ben Theorize About How to Get a Good Woman
Bencb – Now, I will specifically ask about finding a good woman because 99% of our audience are male. How do you find a good woman these days? Yeah, give us the secret!
Yoh Viral – I'm not sure I'm the best at it because I’ve had a few long relationships, but I've never had one longer than two years. So, I don’t have great secrets for keeping a long-term relationship..
Bencb – But you can tell us what doesn’t work!
Yoh Viral – I can tell you what doesn’t work. I can tell you what is good for a poker player, what kind of profile is suitable for the poker life. I used to have women accompany me on the live circuit, which is a high-pressure environment where you’re playing for big money. If your girlfriend is with you and is not supportive, it can make things two or three times worse. You’ll play poorly and potentially lose a lot.
First of all, for poker players, it’s crucial not to bring a woman to a live event that you barely know. Many guys do this, and while it may seem logical not to, it can be tempting. For example, if you're going to the EPT Barcelona next month and you know this girl whom you've seen a few times, you might think, "I'm financially free; I can invite her; no problem." But don’t do that.
I’ve made that mistake, and almost every successful poker player has too. Why is it a mistake? Because you don’t know this girl well enough to understand how she’ll react when you’re stuck in that intense environment. You might be playing 10 hours a day—especially during events like the EPT Barcelona—where you take maybe one day off over 10 days or two weeks.
During that time, she could be alone while you're focused on your game. If she feels neglected because you're not spending enough time with her or giving her attention, she will make you aware of her unhappiness. This is going to make you lose more – without you even realizing it. You might think, "I’m very professional; I play millions of hands; I won’t change my game because of anyone." But that's not true—you will be affected by her feelings.
So, don't do those things. Go only with a woman that you know well—someone you've been in a relationship with for some time. Also, observe how she reacts when you go out for one night at a casino together. If she accompanies you to play cash games at your local casino, pay attention to her behavior. Does she enjoy it? Is she interested? Does she ask questions about hands? Or does she seem bored as f*** and want to leave?
If you can spend one or two nights at the casino with her and see how she reacts towards your job, that’s incredibly important when trying to connect with women with you in the poker world. You might be surprised by how many women are totally fine with your job and are supportive of your poker career.
I can think of successful players like Steven Chidwick; his wife is French and they are great together—she’s always supportive and present during his events. There’s even a baby with them! Another example is Davidi Kitai; his partner plays poker sometimes and has participated in tournaments as well. There are many examples of successful relationships in the poker community.
So yes, try to find someone who is genuinely interested in your passion for poker—someone who asks questions about it. She doesn’t need to play herself but should be curious about what you do. If there isn’t a local casino nearby, another way to test this is by playing online at home one night while she’s next to you. If she shows interest in your online play and engages with what you're doing, you can understand that this is the profile of a girl who could come with you and share your journey – kind of.
