– Feels like a shit post, but it's not. Context: there's a high hand promo which rolled over and is now at 1000.
I just got to the table, and in my first hand, the deep stack player decides to set the trap and limps UTG+1 with . To his surprise, the whole 1/3 table folds, except the small and big blinds which call.
Now, for the flop. . QUADS, the trap is set. This is the moment. SB Check. BB Check. Hero knows one of them also limped to trap, so he does what anyone would do, he shoves $900 into $9! Nine hundred fucking dollars into $9. KK are gonna be so surprised!
Fold. Fold.
But at least he gets the high hand? OH WAIT, you need at least $10 in the pot to collect the 1000 dollar promo.
It's like watching Idiocracy in real life.
Y'all see anything this dumb?
– I saw a guy call down three streets, table air, and say, "I was bluffing."
– This was literally yesterday. A guy put the straddle on... couple of callers, action gets to him and he folds. I mean wtf.
– This was 20 years ago at a home game where people knew how to play but no one is good. Same guy on two different occasions, first time he is in the big blind and folds so someone explains to him he doesn't have to fold his hand and then he announces he is all in instead. Someone calls and he is knocked out.
Second time I see him he calls an all in on the turn playing the board with a 34. The only hand he could have beaten was .
– The guy bet on the river, the opponent on the other side of the table called and showed some small pair or A-high (why he called is also a mystery). The first guy sat there as if nothing had happened until the dealer asked him, “Are you going to show your cards?” The guy dunked and started to get very upset when the chips went to the opponent. He decided that the opponent dunked and spent the next hour whining that he had been shoved.
– I can probably sadly top most of these, I've posted this one before. Cash game, I'm not in this hand. It's 3 handed on the turn. Player 1 makes a small bet and Player 2 goes all in. Player 3 covers both and calls the all in, forgets that P1 is yet to act, and tables his hand.
The dealer says "wait a second, P1 has yet to act" and P1 takes a second, SEES P3's hand, thinks a second and calls all in. The hands are revealed and P1 was drawing dead. I don't remember the exact hands something like P3 had a full house already and P1 had a straight. He called off his stack drawing dead after seeing his opponents hand.
– Tournament with drunks.
Board is AAAAK.
I jokingly declare all in from the small blind. Big blind laughs and pushes their chips forward as well.
Next to act.... folds... and then player after that thinks about it for a bit.... before also folding. By this stage, many looks were going across the table as button for some reason went into the tank. Button eventually said they didn't know what was going on so they were calling. (To this day, no idea if the button genuinely didn't realise the board was the nuts, or if the multiple folds before them and nobody saying anything had them second guessing the obvious and trying to figure out if they were somehow missing something)
– People who stack their chips in stacks of 5 or 10. Annoys the shit out of me for some reason with how dumb it looks.
– One time I saw this lady call an all-in for over $100k with just jack high. Somehow jack high was good, I still think it was incredibly dumb tho especially since she said she called because she thought her opponent had ace-high.
– I once mucked the winning hand without realizing it until after I threw the cards away. Thankfully I was the only one who knew I did it.
– 1/2 UTG limps, gets a few callers. Flop comes A/A/J. He min bets every street, turns over A/J and scoops 15 bucks. His hands were shaking the whole time..
– Me, flipping over my set of queens when the guy with the set of 5s hadn't decided his move yet, and I forgot he was next to act.
– I had a player sit down at my table once who didn't know the order of the cards. Not the order of the hand rankings, the order of the cards. He didn't know if a queen or a jack was higher. No he wasn't making it up. He called a large river bet with Q3 because he thought he might have a straight on a 789TA board. He sat down at midnight and you better believe I stayed until 4:30am when he lost his last chip. The entire table then just got up and left.
– I was in a home game playing an Omaha hi-lo limit game. I don't remember the exact cards but there were two other people with me still in the hand on the turn. One of them bet, but I had the nut high, so I raised. The other two also kept raising so I assumed one of them had the nut low but either way I was going to split the pot so I figured it was best to keep raising. The river came and I still had the nut high, so I kept raising and again was met by raises by the other two.
We reached the bet cap on both streets and everyone turned over their hands. The two other players both were going for the low hand, but they had 9 high so neither one qualified and I won everything.
– One time in a Casino a guy spilled his beer all over the table. Not that uncommon right? He then proceeded to press his lips against the felt and slurp it all up. It made exactly the sound you are imagining it made.
– Many years ago I was playing cash at Flamingo. One player was accidentally dealt three cards. He said nothing and on the board with a king declared all-in on the river. He got a call and said “I have a set of kings” and turned over all three cards. Naturally, the manager was called, who declared his hand dead. The pot of about $800 went to the opponent. The guy with three cards literally went crazy after that, he had to be taken out of the casino by force.
– Guy drops a chip into a glass of beer so he chugs the beer, takes the chip out, and puts it back on his stack.
