Unless you want to spend your nights alone, you're probably dating at this very moment. But, since poker is not the most social job, many people have problems with it.
There are far fewer girls in poker than men, so not everyone will be able to find a match to their interests. We decided to look at how poker affects building relationships, when you should admit to your partner that your life is a game, and how to increase your W$SD on Tinder. We asked famous players about all this and received some valuable advice.
Anatoly Dykalis
Anatoly is the leader of the Russian GPI rating and micro-limit fish in relationships with girls.
I usually meet on Tinder. But now, it seems to have deteriorated, especially in large cities like Moscow. It seems that there are many more good men there than women, which is why this is the situation. But in Minsk, for example, everything is ok – there is a clear shortage of men. Perhaps this is due to the crooked Tinder algorithms, or perhaps because I used paid functions a lot and without them, the algorithm now does not show me to anyone.
I never really tried to meet people on the street. But sometimes it happens by accident, mainly on the initiative of the female side. The main thing here is to be confident in yourself. And in general, I get the impression that girls most often don't care what you look like, how much money you have, etc. – It matters how confident you are. So the main thing is to upgrade this point.
Nobody usually cares about poker. I think you can talk about it at any time. Of course, you can create an aura of mystery, let him try to guess the area of activity. This can help on a date if there is no topic to talk about, or in general it's difficult to talk. The only woman in my life who had any prejudices about poker was my mother.
In general, of course, there is a huge gender imbalance in the poker community. It's hard for men, but for girls, in my understanding, it should be easy. Therefore, it is not clear where interesting stories about dating can come from.
Elena Alohahaloha
Elena is the Ambassador of PokerMatch, conqueror of the Skill Ring, and the hearts of poker players.
In modern realities, we meet almost all new people on the Internet. I maintain pages wherever possible. Naturally, social networks are full of information that I am a poker player, so everyone will know about it even before they meet. By the way, it seems to me that gambling girls arouse some additional interest in men, based on personal observations. This is an unusual profession for a lady, don't you agree?
In relationships with poker players, I see more pros than cons, because you are doing one thing. You are always busy at the same time, you understand when it is better not to touch each other, and in general, you work as a single organism.
We got up together, ate, did business, sorted out the hands, discussed the new cut of clips with GipsyTeam, then sat down to play. And so on, we repeated that. And this is already a minus. The routine is exhausting, and you want newness, but your lives are tied to each other, whether in work or in love.
I think, in the end, the secret to a successful relationship lies in the fact that you simply love your partner and put up with all the disadvantages of living together, regardless of whether he is a poker player or not.
Pavel speedTLT
Pavel is the funniest poker player according to friends and a multi-millionaire according to girls from Tinder.
I've been in a relationship for the last five years, so I didn't get to know each other very actively. I recently took a break from poker and went on dates every day. It was quite fun, although it was very energy-consuming.
Now, if you don't have particularly pumped-up charisma and self-confidence, then the easiest way to meet people is on Tinder – you buy yourself a subscription and immediately have a fairly large selection of girls.
I talk about poker as soon as the girl asks what I do. I told everyone the same thing: that this is a game of skill with an element of luck, that it is mathematics + psychology, and that the International Games Association recognizes poker as a game of skill, like chess. I tell them that thanks to poker I can live in any country in the world, that I don't have a forced team and I choose the people with whom I communicate. Then I add that I play pretty well and she can read about me on the Internet, my nickname is LLinusLLove.
There used to be an opinion in the poker community that it was better not to tell what you do and say that you install fiber optics, but I don't agree with that. I don't understand why I should be ashamed of my profession, which I spent almost 10 years on? Absolutely everyone reacts enthusiastically, but the important thing here is that I initially select girls for dates very well and don't go out with just anyone, but immediately select people who are close to me in spirit.
There are some peculiarities in the relationships of poker players – almost all of their girls are Thai :D For me, these peculiarities primarily lie in the fact that we do not have a completely standard work schedule, and on weekends, when almost everyone is resting, we are at the height of activity. Of course, all this can be easily solved if the girl understands and doesn't start the classic line, "you don't spend enough time with me." Let them date ordinary hard workers and feel sorry that they can no longer listen to stories about my bad beats.
Kazrich
Kazrich is an old-school guy whose relationship with a dealer ended in a happy ending.
I usually met people in cafes, restaurants, and clubs, but all this was about 7 years ago. Something didn't work out with online dating.
When I'm sober, in coffee shops, for example, I'm not an expert in meeting people. But in entertainment venues where alcohol is present, I can give you a couple of tips. In simpler places (in terms of money, status, etc.), the most effective way would be to approach directly. If there are two girls at the table, then ok. If it's more, then you need to have more confidence and, of course, wit, since in a large company the likelihood of receiving a 3-bet joke in your address increases.
If you feel that your skill is not enough for a crowd of girls, then it's better not to approach them directly. Select one for yourself and write her a note, maybe in poetic form, with your number (fortunately, now there is WhatsApp, etc.). The same method will help you make acquaintances in some pretentious establishment. Here you need to distinguish between really "pretentious bitches" and girls who are not from this environment, but pretend that they are also kind of cool, and therefore can refuse a direct approach. They will be our goal. In addition to the "letter" written on a napkin, which must be sent through the waiter, you can add a bottle of champagne or wine, it all depends on your bankroll. I think that a "letter" written by hand, especially in our age, many girls will even consider romantic. When starting a conversation with a girl, be yourself and don't be shy about complimenting her. If you feel that you are being bullied, don't get angry or panic. Say goodbye calmly and with dignity and go back to your place.
Poker helped me meet my wife. A good friend of mine played katrans and invited me to play too. The fact that he was a good friend is important, because if it were not so, then I would not have ended up at the "corporate party" where I got to know my future wife better. She was the "co-founder" and a dealer there. At the first stage of the relationship, she did not know that I was only involved in gaming. After some time I told her about this. At that time I was an offline reg. Well, for her, it was not something out of the ordinary, considering that she is from the same sphere. But I forbade her to continue doing this when the relationship became serious. And now we have two children and everything is fine.
Here is the continuation of the article from "And now we have two children and everything is fine."
Diesel
Diesel is a researcher who conducted the Tinder experiment on our Russian forum, which got a lot of attention.
The Tinder challenge turned out to be futile under the initially stated conditions. I decided to try just putting a few photos on my profile and honestly stating the purpose of dating was ONS (one night stand). And wait for the girls, smitten by my beauty, to start bombarding me with invitations to meet. All I did next was swipe the profiles I liked several times a day and respond to rare messages (no more than 1-2 a day). As it turned out, many did not read the profile description, and having read it, they quickly fell off. Someone felt it necessary to tell me that their goals for dating on Tinder were different. Several girls simply wrote something like: "You're funny. And how it turns out? Do many people write? Good luck with the hunt."
In general, it's logical that girls receive much more attention in apps than guys. Therefore, if you really set a goal to meet and meet girls through them, then you need to approach the matter more thoroughly and be more active.
For me, it's more familiar, natural and effective to meet people in other ways. Sometimes – just on the street, but usually such acquaintances did not receive any development. Sometimes – in cafes, bars, restaurants, karaoke and at concerts. There the atmosphere is more conducive to meeting people, and alcohol promotes the "search for adventure." Usually from the first words it is clear whether two strangers are interesting and like each other and whether they can count on a pleasant continuation of the evening. Often a reciprocal smile inspires confidence that even some awkwardness and not always successful attempts to find common topics will not at all prevent you from eventually finding a common language.
Common companies also greatly expand the circle of acquaintances. Group events often bring new faces with them, be it short-deck home games, outdoor outings, or birthday celebrations. I also have a student friend who started studying at the age of 25, and her pretty classmates started studying right after school. This is actually a life hack. I also transferred once, updating the "roster." It's just a pity that he's already writing his diploma.
However, there was also a period in my life that was indirectly related to online dating. I played World of Warcraft quite closely for many years, often spending 10-20 hours a week with my guildmates. It's funny that there it was mostly the girls themselves who showed attention to me. It was possible to get to know each other quite well and closely, and as a result, hundreds of kilometers of distance were often not an obstacle to meeting in real life.
Odd_Oddsen
Oddsen is the Chief bot of Tinder.
Lately, I've been meeting people online more often (but, of course, not myself: I wrote a bot for this ).
Whether or not to tell a girl about poker depends on my mood. But the best thing, in my opinion, is not to talk about it at all, since most people have prejudices associated with poker, and girls in general have big problems with logic and working with information.
Therefore, if she already has some opinion, then convincing her will be close to impossible.
Some of my tales involve poker, but I use it to increase EV in her eyes in the style of: "I played poker here and there, and then I flew to the Philippines on vacation." I don't like these routines, but without them now you simply cannot seduce, because most beautiful girls have dollars in their eyes.
The peculiarity of dating among poker players is that they rarely leave the house. And in order to grind girls, you either need to spend a lot of time online (or write a bot), or go straight out into the fields, like in childhood, for like 3-5 hours in order to have at least some EV.
Megaman
Megaman is the author of a manual on how to use Tinder effectively.
Due to the fact that I have some kind of socialization, the range is approximately 60 to 40% towards online (Tinder/Instagram), but meeting people on the street/in a bar is also not a problem. However, for poker players, Tinder is a very convenient tool.
For obvious reasons, poker does not have the best reputation in the post-Soviet space. People know little about the industry and are guided by personal or acquired stereotypes. When earlier in the same Tinder the question "What do you do?" I answered that I play poker, very often at this point the communication ended or I was immediately removed from the pairs. Live they often said that they could do something really important, in their understanding.
Determining when to talk to a girl about poker is quite difficult. I have a very decent statistical sample in this regard.
You can divide girls into two groups – under 25 years old and older. Younger girls are usually more progressive and more open to "alternative" activities of guys. The older generation has a clear bias towards misunderstanding and even negativity. Therefore, if the girl is under 25 years old, I tell her as soon as she asks what I do. If this is an older madam, then I say that I work in the field of online poker. Usually, at this moment, they are stupefied, and they do not ask further questions.
If they start asking for more details, I answer that we came here to have a good time and have a nice conversation, and talking about work won't help us with this, so let's do it later.
If communication with a girl goes further, we get to know each other and she sees that I am an adequate and interesting man, then the cards can already be revealed.
Alena (Alohahaloha)
To finish the interviews, we asked Alena to give a couple of tips for handling the first steps of dating.
You can write scripts about meeting girls :)
First, I'll give a few examples from life, and at the end I'll tell you how, in my opinion, it's right and wrong to "approach" a girl, especially if you're a poker player, and she only heard such a word in the movie Molly's Game.
The first example would be a message from Instagram from an unknown user who has no photos or followers: "Hi, I've been following you for a long time, you're beautiful, I like your directness and openness, so I want to meet you. Considering that I'm a random stranger to you, here's some information about me." Then he told us who he is, where he is from, how many years he is, what he does, and did not forget to send a photo from the tournament.
The second example will be a message from the GipsyTeam PM, also from an unknown user. The text was something like this: "Hi, beauty, if I weren't married, I would come to Kyiv to meet you, but I'm married. I have a poker friend who plays $25/$50 limits, a bachelor. If you really like him, I'd like that. Is it possible to invite you to a meeting and talk about poker topics?"
In the first example, information about myself and my type of activity is clearly given, interest is shown in my personality, and not just in my face, and in general, a sentence is composed with respect, in which it is clear from beginning to end why they wrote to me.
In the second example, a man, without introducing himself, was going to come visit me, if not for his wife, but since he is a wife, then for a friend with $25/$50 I would go and discuss poker topics, with a smile/grin at the end of the sentence. It's unclear who, it's unclear why, wrote to me.
I think two examples are enough to make it clear how you need to present yourself in order to be noticed, even if you have no idea what poker is.
By the way, I later dated the guy from the first example, and the guy from the second example, if you're reading this, don't be angry. You're already married, so you don't need to be able to make a first impression on women :)
